Looks like MO & TN didn't begin to keep vital records until after the deaths of Wm & Mary. Have you tried the GenWeb sites for Clay Co, MO and Greene Co, TN? Many TN GenWeb counties are putting more then just their cemeteries online. Have you found the family on the 1900 census? Month and year of birth for everyone in household, and how many children a woman has had, and how many living at the time of the census. With the gaps in years of birth for children, you might find Mary had other children that might have died.
Do you know where Mary was b in 1820? Wilhite shouldn't be too common, you might look for family of that name in area where she was born. Check 1830 census, see if they have female right age catagory to be Mary. Check out Wilhite probate records for the county, see if she gets named in any records as an heir.
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