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Deborah, I also have the preferred spouse problem & figured out the fix that you recomended which works fine, however when I change the preferred spouse to the current one the children from the first marriage disappear.So to keep the kid's on the screen the current husband has to be relegated to the other marriage section, while the past husband stay's as current.
hope you can follow this, the more I try to explain the more complex it seem's to get, hope you can help so my new son in law doesn't feel insulted.
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