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I have the OPR in database here at my home and the mother, as you say, is not mentioned. The children Christened to John Hadden were:
James (1788)
John (1790)
Mary (1791)
Alexander (1794)
Using the Scottish naming conventions of the day, one would start with the possible assumption that the father of John (and unknown mother) was named James and that the mother of the unnamed wife was named Mary.
There are no marriage records for Dunnottar in the OPR for a John Hadden.
Looking in all the John Hadden/Haldane possibilities for a marriage ca. 1786-1787 (before first child was born), I find none in all of the OPR between 1785-1787 (the advantage of having these in a database).
In 1788, there are listed two marriages of a John Hadden/Haldane, but none in Kincardine and both in Nov/Dec time, after the Christening of James (above).
It seems unlikely that the discovery of the mother can be made from Parish records. You might obtain the original Christening records for the 4 children and check the names of the witnesses, but a woman only very rarely was a witness.
Sorry I can't be of more help.
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