A number of such cases have been reported, but no one has reported a solution to the problem. Some project coordinators seem to be pretty inflexible, so I think it unlikely that you can get the person to change his/her mind. However, it is up to each person to set his match preferences at FTDNA and other firms. Thus, he may get matches with the surname, regardless of project policy. In addition, most people will enter their data at YSearch if they want to be contacted:
Other databases are at Ancestry and Genebase:
Also, search at SMGF. They do not give the contact, but do show pedigrees. I think people can still enter data at Genetree, which will broker contacts from SMGF and those who tested at their firm. I entered mine some time ago, so do not know the current procedure:
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