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Dear Virgene,
Please understand that the relationship between Victor and Alexander Diffey/Mary Low is only tentatively established as yet, at least insofar as I know. "My" Victor Diffey/Diffee/Diffy (they had trouble settling on a spelling) was born and died in Maryland, according to my information (1805-1888). I show him as having married one Therea Chalp (I think somebody had trouble reading archaic handwriting there), but have no info on children.
If it was "my" Victor to whom the land was conveyed, he was nearly 73 years old, and appears to have returned to Baltimore Co to die some ten years later. My hypothesis would be that Victor and "Therea" Chalp Diffey had a son named Victor, who may have married another daughter of Thomas Kennedy and purchased the homestead from the executor/brother-in-law; typically, he may already have owned adjacent land either purchased or gifted upon his marrying the comely Miss Kennedy.
The step-children you mention could then be the children of Victor 2. From their ages, however, I would almost suspect that they were great-grandchildren of Victor 1. It's almost certain from the info you provide that the three kids were the natural children of Catherine Ramsay by her first marriage (to Victor 2 Diffey??). So, if she was born Catherine Kennedy, sister to your GGM Mary Jane and to Eliza Ann, Ella Ruley could be an aunt-in-law at the very least (aunt of the Ruley who married Eliza Ann) or, alternately, might be the sister of Thomas Ramsey's mother.
Interesting that you mention the Ruley family. On my mother's side, I am peripherally connected to some Ruhle/Rule/Ruley folks in Botetourt Co, VA (in-laws, not blood kin). I think many emigrated to OH and IN after the Revolution, as did my own Botetourt forbears. The ones who remain in VA usually spell the name Rule, but pronounce it "Ruley," following an approximation of "Ruhle" in German. I'd bet your own Ruleys have Botetourt, Rockbridge, or Augusta Co, VA in their background as well.
Wish I could be of some real help in answering your questions, but I know less about the Diffeys than almost any of my lines.
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