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In answer to your questions, I am kind of struggling, firstly I have found no trace of Pansey (birth wise) & I know she exists as I have a photo of her.
The Darlings definitely resided in Whitehaven, the father James Darling ended up being a Master Mariner, which explains why he doesn't feature in many of the census & also why the family moved down to the Liverpool area.
As for Caroline Amelia, your theory about an illigitimate child is a possibility your observation re the the 1881 is correct, I do however have a copy of the marriage certificate.
Thank you for your interest & help it is much appreciated.
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