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The only Sylvia shown by William Chaffee in the Chaffee Genealogy was born in New York state in 1831 and died January 11, 1863. She was married to Neil J. Ruthorn who was wounded in the Battle of Shiloh in the Civil War and died aboard the boat on his way home. The dates and names are similar enough to be worth further investigation. Sylvia was the daughter of Almon Chaffee and Julia Ann Cook of Becket, Mass. They had seven other children besides Sylvia. If you think there is a possibility this is the woman you are searching for, let me know and I will be glad to furnish you with the names of her siblings.
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