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The best advice is...don't.
If it is a recent grave marker, check with your local cemetery sexton or other professional.
If it is an ancient grave marker, you run the risk of damaging the marker with abrasives, bleach, household cleaners, brushes, homemade concoctions, elbow grease, or anything else stronger than rain water and the tip of your finger. Old markers chip easily. Old markers lose parts of their inscriptions if you dig out the moss with enthusiasm or sharp objects, because the moss has already weakened the edges. DO NO HARM.
Most grave markers do not like acids. Most grave markers do not like alkalis. Many grave markers are made from rocks, which erode. Other grave markers are made of zinc or other metals, which can be scratched. Glass grave markers will shatter. Upright markers have been known to fall over in the process of being touched. Grave markers thus damaged cannot be easily repaired. Historic grave marker damage in Washington is a felony and can land you serious jail time.
We've all heard the stories about pretty markers scrubbed clean, markers painted by well-meaning restorationists, markers cleaned en masse with power washers. I have seen my share of markers which have "melted" the following year because of some chemical application which reacted with the surface.
Use your camera and photo editing software to "clean" a grave marker electronically.
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