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Brian,
your story sounds identical to our family. my grandpa was meaner than a junkyard dog he also raised a cousin of mine, one of my aunts boy from a one night stand but from what my mom tells me he beat that boy.
He found ways to punish my dad and uncles as kids by giving them hammers and making them stand on ant beds hammering away killing ants eventually being over taken by the ants. my grandma didn't have much of a say. i remember my grandma telling she had never been in a grocery store or a mall until my grandpa died he did all the shopping for her. my grandpa was very smart (or stingy) when it came to money he manage to save money to put my cousin through school and have money aside to be buried and have money for my grandma to live off.
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